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What is the Blue Print of your relationship?

One man came to me who works in army and stays out of home for months. He is suspecting his wife of having an affair because she has started dressing up differently. When I spoke to his wife, she said she loves her husband but she is not happy with him because for everything he blames her, so she has made new friends and she is having some girls night out with them. She actually did not have any affair but she wanted something new for herself. Their problem is not different from many of the couples who go through taken for granted, boredom and frustration after sometime of marriage. For some it comes after 10 years and for some it may come after 5 years. After that the thrill and fun of adventure starts attracting us. So we need to work upon that. Falling in love is not a challenge but staying in love requires a lots of commitment. Every relationship is like a plant which needs to be nurtured daily. If you do not water your plant one day, next day it would start withering. Same way, if you do not nurture your relationship one day, it would start withering. Oftentimes we keep asking for more and more but we forget what we have to give in a relationship. It needs constant love and care and is based on the roots of love trust and respect. If one thing goes missing, it takes away other two as well. So first of all we need to sit and think how we want our relationship to be. Yes, you need to prepare a blue print of the relationship to be together with your partner. This will also include some expectations from each other. We assume many things and they kill us. You need to prepare a blue print, without that, your relationship would have similar structure like a building is constructed without referring to a blue print. It would be unplanned and ugly to look at and that's why most of the relationships have unplanned shape. Husband does not know what he should give and what wife expects from him and same way, wife assumes her role, but does not know what her husband wants from her. I meta girl recently, where she was playing all the roles perfectly but her husband did not want a traditional wife. he wanted a wife who has life of her own and who is not stuck with her kitchen or kids. He said that i can manage if my wife orders food from outside every day but I would be happy if she comes and sits with me daily when i am back home. So she assumed that playing a traditional wife would keep her husband with her but he wanted a lady with a mind of her own and life of her own. When they realized this gap, they could work upon their differences. So do make a map of how you want things to be. Every plant needs tender love and care and every relationship too. If you leave it unattended, it would be surrounded with weeds and few may be poisonous too. Its your decision, it depends on you how beautiful you can make it. It needs your commitment and dedication.

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Comment by Dr Anand Swroop on April 24, 2013 at 10:05am

positive thinking is the answer

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