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Why bad things happen to good people?
I take care that others are not hurt emotionally, I take care that everyone who's working under me is happy, I take care to help people financially when they are in dire need of money, I take care not to humiliate anyone, I take care that I’m there when people need me and in case inadvertently I hurt anyone I make every effort to rectify my mistake.
Still these people cheat, lie, steal and insult me at times. ‘These people’ sometimes are my relatives, sometimes domestic help, sometimes my employees. Why this happens to me? This is a question I’ve been asking to me so many times. There is a proverb- As you sow, so shall you reap. But it proves wrong here as I know how much I care for everyone. Then why same people turn out to be so rude, insensitive and self centered?
It's difficult to differentiate between good and bad as these are perceptions which differ according to one's parameters. But if we simplify the definitions then good is something which do not harm anyone in anyway and bad is what harms. Then my question is - why bad things happen to good people? And when this keeps on happening then one will lose some part of his/her goodness, become insensitive and lose trust in others. This is what happens with me at times.
Replies to This Discussion
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FounderPermalink Reply by Sandeep Goswamy on -
I agree with Shanu ... Lets not reach unilateral conclusions.. instead give our perspectives without being judgmental...
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Permalink Reply by geeat chahal on
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please read my comment on Fb
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FounderPermalink Reply by Sandeep Goswamy on -
Dear Geeat, Kindky copy and paste your comment here.. everyone here may not be on FB :-)
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Dear Sandeep,
I'll get one of my children to do it for me. I'm not too sure about how its done.
My heartfelt thanks for thereference to Hooponopono.Its amazing.
Best regards
Geeta
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Permalink Reply by Ritika Soni on
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Hi to all here. i just had the same problem which shanu has. i agree n understood each and everybody's sayings.
This morning i was just praying to God as to y bad things are happening n im not able to do anything. when i choose the "right" , wrong automatically is invited.
I agree with rekha ji. If we r here to just do our karma then better be a sage n not to worry about the snake. Then i think i can live with anyone without expecting the same from others. it becomes easy. but at one point of time , us being humans, starts expecting love, good, respect from others n still we dont get it. then what? please answer this what to do now? as im just standing here.!!!
i dont know if anyone has understood wat i have just written because im not in my senses right now.
anyways would love to know more abt this topic. it really makes u feel light (atleast for sometime). and i think angels, gods and fairies have given me answer here which i was looking for.
Thank you all. Trust u all. Love u all.
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FounderPermalink Reply by Sandeep Goswamy on -
Perfect :-) I love the statement " When i choose the "right", wrong automatically is invited."
Can you invite a coin with just "Heads" or "Tails" ? they are both sides of the same coin .... Choice less awareness :-) Acceptance of what is .... That is the key Ritu
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yes i agree with you. If thats the case, then i dont want a coin ever. i would rather choose a "note", which has no two different sides.
anyways, i cant help it. so i have to take my life as it comes (and again it sounds boring).
=>
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Permalink Reply by Pankaj Singh on
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Hi to all. I'm new to this but already getting feel of excitement with kind of group member around. I'm very much agree with Rekhaji view. However My strong urge would be not to put too much attention on what's going wrong with you. The more you think more you invite them. I sincerely believe that you are in constant search of good return while doing your good deeds to other. Expecting is good but when you put too much stress and bring it in your consciousness it actually goes other way.
It would be tough to not to relate yourself with what you doing but steady and slowly bring in it habit to let things go. Key is not to try too hard. It should help.
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Permalink Reply by Helen on
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There is a book that goes by this title as well, and I have been meaning to read it for a while because that question has been on my mind for many years now.
@Shanu.. My life experiences have shown me that all the 'bad' things that happened to me were actually for my greater good. My maids lying to me right, left and centre after I have been so kind to them. They do not know any better. This is their instinct of survival. They do not understand kindness. As a result, my brain and mind has become sharper :)
For people being rude or nasty towards me, I have learnt to detach from the situation and it is their problem not mine. Just because something comes out of their mouth doesn't mean its a reality. The universal laws of life are a reality.
I have a lot more to say on this but unable to express myself in writing so well. I guess focus on yourself and your happiness, all kinds of people and situations will come at you, negative and postive. Focus on what is really important to you and your life and you don't have to go completely out of your way for other people. If you like to help people, don't jump in immediately, take a step back and assess the situation and see how genuine they really are. If you feel they are deserving, help a little bit and watch. That has been my learning.
Also, if you choose to be kind to someone, that is your good karma, and you shouldn't focus on the result. People will behave in all sorts of manners depending on their mood, how their day as been etc.
A saying in Vedanta is, I don't remember the quote exactly and I am just paraphrasing it - Do your best in everything that you do, the fruits of your action are not important. That will take care of itself. Just focus on doing what you think is right action. Bad things will happen, and dont take it personally. Its from the Universe and accept it as for your higher good.
Hope that helps and that I have not confused you too much.
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Permalink Reply by jai sherring on
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There are different kinds of people from different archetypal orientation [Karl Jung] placed in multiple life situations. Their actions spring from their exixting mind set. If we look objectively with this raised framework, the intensity of the hurt will gradually loose its power. One has to work towards rising higher level and not being protective to our acquired mind set.
Once these people know that their attempts are not working, they will not draw power from such scenarios and are likely to either find new victims or withdraw. so there is no point in loosing your sensitiveness. It enables you to experience joy to fuller extent.
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Permalink Reply by Hari Prakash Mishra on
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My analysis, not advice, is this:-
1. You seem to have an expectation that if you behave in 'x' manner, it must generate similar behavior from all others. This is an incorrect assumption/ premise/ foundation/ expectation, since all beings are uniquely different in their mental make-up. The story of the saint and the snake mentioned by a member earlier exemplifies it well.
2. You seem to believe that you 'should' continue to behave in the 'good' manner irrespective of how others behave; but in my view this is also not correct. In any case, it is obviously generating resentment and conflict in your mind.
3.I believe that when faced with a situation of conflict, we need to use our intellectual faculties and experience to examine all aspects of the situation and explore various possible action-alternatives, which may include suitable reciprocal response (without 'internal contamination' of own state of mind by violence, anger, resentment, etc.), studied indifference, introspection to remove any elements in one's behavior that might be getting interpreted by some others as "Come and hit me!", etc..
Here I remember another story involving a snake, a saint and villagers. The dreaded snake had been blessed and 'advised' by the saint, at the request of the terror-stricken villagers, to stop harming the villagers. Thereafter, it totally stopped reacting to even provocations of any kind. As a result, the villagers soon lost all fear of it and in fact started treating it with much cruelty. On his next visit to the village, when the saint saw the snake in a pathetically wounded condition, he asked the reason and was told the facts by the snake. At this the saint said to the snake: "I had certainly asked you to stop biting the villagers, but why did you stop hissing as well??"
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FounderPermalink Reply by Sandeep Goswamy on -
Glad that it made a difference in your life Liz
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