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I take care that others are not hurt emotionally, I take care that everyone who's working under me is happy, I take care to  help people financially when they are in dire need of money, I take care not to humiliate anyone, I take care that I’m there when people need me and in case inadvertently I hurt anyone I make every effort to rectify my mistake.

Still these people cheat,  lie, steal and insult me at times. ‘These people’ sometimes are my relatives, sometimes domestic help, sometimes my employees. Why this happens to me? This is a question I’ve been asking to me so many times. There is a proverb- As you sow, so shall you reap. But it proves wrong here as I know how much I care for everyone. Then why same people turn out to be so rude, insensitive and self centered?

It's difficult to differentiate between good and bad as these are perceptions which differ according to one's parameters. But if we simplify the definitions then good is something which do not harm anyone in anyway and bad is what harms. Then my question is - why bad things happen to good people? And when this keeps on happening then one will lose some part of his/her goodness, become insensitive and lose trust in others. This is what happens with me at times.

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A Zen Story :-)

In a village lived, an old man with one son. One day the son meets with accident & breaks his leg.
People of village come to console, Oh ! What a bad thing has happened.... The old man must have been a zen man he just shrugged; few days later the kings men come to the village because a war is on and all able chaps are recruited, forcefully, none returns from war.
Now the same incident becomes a blessing..... story is longer, goes on. In an ongoing story what is good or what is bad is not that easy to judge.
Very interesting topic Shanu :-) I am sure a lot of people will have a lot to say on this.... My two bits I am sharing... And Deepti well said the zen fable is beautiful....

To go beyond judgments of good and bad is the way of awareness. And it is through awareness that transformations happen. This is the difference between morality and spirituality. Morality says, “Choose the right and reject the wrong. Choose the good and reject the bad.”
Nothing is good nor bad ..... Simply watch both. Don’t choose at all. Remain in a choice-less awareness :-)
Yes Sandeep,
I'm watching this since long. In the due course of time I'm losing trust in people and when these things happen I try to become insensitive apparently (though I still am sensitive inside) and do not help them as they've lied so many times. Also, when we're hurt by people who are too close to us then this gives us another blow. What to do in such circumstances.Choice-less awareness is ok but we got to decide in sitiuations so how to react and what to do? When people cheat on and on, they betray, they lie then how will the trust develop. And my question again is the same.....why this happens?
Yes, if we go beyond judgements of good and bad life becomes much easier. I've forgiven them so many times but somewhere I feel I haven't as then I wouldn't have posted this topic here.
Thanks for your reading this.
There are two ways of looking at your situation.

One,the theory of reincarnation says that we have to pay our dues in this birth for whatever wrongs /ills we did in our previous birth. If smbdy is being inexplicably mean and vengeful to you,it cld be due to the hangover frm the previous lifetime,when you possibly did the same to him/her and he/she is giving back to you.

The other way of explaining is: If your innate goodness is making you do good despite everything then yu are following your dharma and you are being consistent with your values. If the other person despite everything is not retng the favour , he/she is following his/ her dharma which is consistent with their "values".

This can be best explained by an interesting anecdote. Once a sage keeps saving a snake and each time he saves him , instead of expressing gratitude , the snake bites him. After several such acts , the sage’s follower cant take it and asks the sage why cant he just leave the snake alone. To this the sage replies , the snake’s dharma is to bite , so he will. But his dharma is to save, so he is being true to his dharma by saving the snake.

And as Richard Bach said “do unto others as you feel like doing unto others and not what you want others to do unto you”
Well said. This is true.

I (now) completely believe in the first reason Rekha mentioned i.e. the theory of many lives and the play of Karmic accounts. Leave aside what I did in this life, we also get to see certain children born with some deformities, uncontrollable behavior or some strange habits so much so that we start to wonder if these are our kids! My father had been a saint(honest and giving) throughout his life but has had bad near-death accidents which were shocking moments for not only our family but the community who had been looking up to him. If I borrow some money from you and meet you after a week in a different costume, I still am liable to pay you back what I owe you. So is the karmic account... whatever you think (not only do) for others is what you are giving out to them and you'll get it back from them to settle those accounts. Some will be settled in this costume (this life), and some in another costume (in some other life). That is why you meet some people for the first time and start to have either very good or very bad/negative feeling towards them (and you say -  I don't know why?). Actually, it is not the first time you are meeting them. Your body is meeting them for the first time, but as a soul you have had some relationship with them in one of your earlier lives.The only way to settle those karmic accounts (and faster) is keep doing your good karmas. You one good karma to somebody will settle your another bad karma a/c with somebody else.

Hi Shanu,
Do you see a pattern? Do all the people you try to help let you down or just some? If you do see a pattern, maybe you need to look within to see what you are doing and how it is perceived. What is the intention behind what you do? Somewhere along the line I think you need to love yourself unconditionally and forgive yourself.
But please do not cut yourself off from everyone and stop doing good. Things are not bad or good. It is how we perceive them.
Take care
There is no pattern. Only few of them do so. But it feels bad when they do as I've always been kind to them.
There is nothing good or bad in this world. I feel so. Because everyone born in this world with different samskaras. we makes it good or bad according to our experiences and previous samskaras. Don't expect anything from this world. You give whatever you have. You are feeling I am giving something something to that person, So I expect that from the other person. The other person having different mentality, not like you. so If you get the same thing I mean what you expect you feel good . You feel bad because you are expecting. Otherwise don't feel bad. The world is maya. The rest You leave to the Supreme spirit. Free mind from all worries. Always think of the spirit residing in your heart, I mean The God within you. You are the Universe, No one is different from you, You love yourself, so...... the Universe wihin you, so No worries.This is my thinking. Try yourself and free from all worries. Be Happy every moment of your life
Yes, I'll try to be so. Thanks
how can u decide bad and good when u do not know future,everything is for better future of the society
Dear Mr. Ravi,
Please do not just read the topic of the discussion but also read what is inside this topic. Please do not digress from the topic. I'm facing certain situation and I've put this here as a topic of discussion. By saying that one cannot decide good or bad you are closing the discussion. I request the members here to let the discussion be open so that one could reach the crux of the problem.


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