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Hi friends we discussed basics about enneagram basics in last post. I will take up enneagram number 5 for deeper discussion. This is the personality which uses intellecft and logic as a defense pattern. Have you ever felt in intimate relationship that your partner is using rationalization and all logic s and fail to feel what you are feeling. You feel as if your deeper feelings have been thrown in front of inanimate brick wall which cannot appreciate or understand what you are feeling. Using rationalization to avoid feeling pain and emotion of someone is very common in this type of personality. it is not that only few of us have this trait , infact sometime or other we all behave with this pattern. Sometime we deal with our spouse in a way to not allow our-self to hear their emotional cries, other times we choose to become stern scolding and shouting our maids and helps ignoring their plight. Whenever we choose to become insensitive to somone we are in enneagram 5 pattern- The insensitive, cold heart just thinking and giving justifications why we are right in our behavior .
What is deeper than this trait. What motivates us to do this.
Well deeper than this is our Avarice . Now this means hoarding to something. or clinging to some belief , power, outcome or person. When we become to attached to something we donot want to loose it and that is of prime importance to us. let the world go to hell I want this and I will have this only. Donot stand in my way or I will annihilate you.For me only my desired outcome is important and you are means for accomplishment, nothing more. Your emotions are not important and I can show it to you by all reasons and logic s.
How do we transform this
First recognize this trait whenever you are using it and closing your heart. Ask your self what am I clinging to in this situation. How am I overriding other person in my game. This takes lots of guts and honesty to accept our deeper truths and expose our inner realities. Mind would vehemently revolt to this. but if you are sincere in this some deeper transformation will begin. At this point start practice of Tonglen . Well Tonglen is Buddhist meditation. Here we imagine that we are inhaling pain and suffering of other person and exhaling love and happiness to them. So start inhaling the hurts and pain of those with whom we are using this defense and exhale love and acceptance. Your mind may revolt to this , inhale your reaction and exhale acceptance. Continue like this
How will this help.
If we do this practice we start dissolving our boundaries built out of fear that others are inconsiderate and I have to be same.We start healing our primal wounds of separation and start opening and connecting at fundamental level. We feel deep oneness and connectedness with those around.