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I take care that others are not hurt emotionally, I take care that everyone who's working under me is happy, I take care to  help people financially when they are in dire need of money, I take care not to humiliate anyone, I take care that I’m there when people need me and in case inadvertently I hurt anyone I make every effort to rectify my mistake.

Still these people cheat,  lie, steal and insult me at times. ‘These people’ sometimes are my relatives, sometimes domestic help, sometimes my employees. Why this happens to me? This is a question I’ve been asking to me so many times. There is a proverb- As you sow, so shall you reap. But it proves wrong here as I know how much I care for everyone. Then why same people turn out to be so rude, insensitive and self centered?

It's difficult to differentiate between good and bad as these are perceptions which differ according to one's parameters. But if we simplify the definitions then good is something which do not harm anyone in anyway and bad is what harms. Then my question is - why bad things happen to good people? And when this keeps on happening then one will lose some part of his/her goodness, become insensitive and lose trust in others. This is what happens with me at times.

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Hi Shanu,


Having read all the comments and replies, I still have something to say:)


Guru Nanak says that all "bad" things which happen to us are also "gifts" from God. Please thank God for these gifts. I know this doesn't sound right as per conventional thinking but believe me, accepting these situations will lead to change.


You may begin by thanking God for these experiences. Next, you may ask yourself - what is the lesson which is being presented to me though these experiences? Have I learnt the lesson? What is the "gift" hidden in these experiences? Allow your mind to calm down while you do this. Meditate or get into self hypnosis if you are trained for the same. Put on a candle, incense and/or light, soothing, relaxing music. Say aloud to the Universe "I want to understand these experiences and what it has for me". If you connect with the Angels, ask them to help you with this. Be open to all insights and ideas you may receive in response to your query. The insights may flash in your mind, you may happen to read a book/magazine/newspaper and the words may flash out to you or you may have a vision or a dream which will give you a better insight into these experiences. Getting into a state of surrender definitely helps.


Once you understand these experiences for what they are, you will be enriched and you will see a move towards more positivity and fulfillment.You may also use these experiences to empower yourself.


I am saying this from my own experience. I have had similar experiences with people. Following the above has helped me gain understanding of these experiences and has also stopped what I saw as a pattern operating in my life.




It's true that the world scenarios being presented to us are generated depending on the level of our development. Jesus Christ after forty days of fasting was confronted with Satan who tempted Him with three temptations. Thus for an ordinary person, if the onsloughts are seen as temptations, these can be faced correctly.

Imagine a person with no such traing. He would become an easy target and most likely yield and react wrongly. This will happen again and again until he gets into a level playing field where there are wise people to guide. Isn"t life then a random collision of human photons where there is lot of uncertainty. what the average works out to would be called the destiny of the person.

The whole query could amount to  whether the universe has a design for a single person or the evolution.

very true, These are God's gift. we are learning

Dear Shanu

It's good that you have brought up this topic as surely it must be felt by everyone at some point of time in their lives. I used to feel the same for long. But a simple incident changed my outlook. One day my house help stole some cutlery from my home. I knew she had flicked it. My first reaction was to be mad at her...but then someone said to me "maybe she really needed it. She's been a great help for you. You might not use that cutlery now anyways. So, don't curse her for stealing it." That just took off all the malice i had and I did confront her peacefully about it. But, I was at peace. This is definitely a strange way of looking at it. But, it helps.

As a lot of people have said here...there's nothing good or bad, it's just the perspective. What might be cheating for you...maybe the only best option for the other person. So, it's better to love youself and heal yourself. Learn from situations and grow. That's what we are meant to do i guess. Hope you cotinue to be the loving and caring person you are.

Best wishes and happiness always...


a well establishd belief desceribes it as everything is attracted to us as per our own hidden patterns residing deep within us that attract every situation/condition in our lives. On the ongoing path of growth we ourselves have chosen certain inner patterns for soul's journey towards growth. Consciously not being aware of it poses conflicts in understanding, although the pattern is ultimately for us to learn a certain important lesson necessary for our growth...being aware of this fact & observing deeply & lovingly without attachment to effects/happenings can slowly unfold the mistry of this have to be only watchful persistently,lovingly & unattached. God bless you..

hey shanu

we all come on this earth with preditermined learnings in a life time. all the so called bad things bthat happen to us are actually our claases of our such learnings. if we are aware to the lesson of that learning , that learning stops happening.i am better of in explaining that more than writng about it , so feel free to call me up as and 

when you need  at 9811157333.

I am completely agreeing with you
There is nothing good or bad, it is how we perceive it.
True...these are all our individual perceptions..

Dear Shanu.

It is so good to hear that in this time of life, when we all are facing so much

of downfall of all the good qualities and moral values in our society, You try to do your level best for the all

the people near you. You are so lucky that GOD has gifted you a right thoughtfulness.

Its quite a common practice for those kind of people to behave in this manner, nd u kno what, if u will ever try to

see their view towards it, they dont even feel that they are doing any wrong to anyone..

And even if someone will try to to make them understand, they wont untill they dont wish themselves to come up a level and start looking at things from a standard and mature viewpiont and not only from a selfish and personalised viewpoint...

You shuold be feeling strong enough that inspite of so negativities.. you are still standing their with all your positive attitude.....

Then not at any cost, let these aftereffects of non achievment of worthy results shake you from your place...

May be you must be facing a difficult situation becouse of all this, but have patience, negatives can not survive for long...

Only do, what ur consious suggest you to...and feel that no body is gonna behave as they are suppose to but still, this attitude of those people will not shake u from ur goodness.

You will not at all destroy yourself coz of them... YOU WILL REMAIN AS GOOD AS GOD HAS MADE YOU....

it can take some time but finally, negatives, fakes, selfishness, false.. etc... will definately destroy and surrender themselves....



Thank you very much all of you for putting so many thoughts here. I really appreciate your views and will try not to feel bad about the things that happen to me as they after all teach me something new in life at every step. Thanks once again.


Good and Bad are just a matter of perception. What can be good to you cannot be good to someone and vice versa. Everyone passes judgements based on their perceptions. One may justify the killing while the other may not.


When we try to make deep analysis of our perceptions we realize that they are not the part of us, we either imitated them or adopted from others learning etc.


The one who is clear reaches above perceptions, judgements and hence is risen above the choice of  good or bad.




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