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Is it OK to fall in love with another man/woman after you're married?

Love is magic.....and if it happens with someone else after marriage it is considered taboo. It does happen at times but is not spoken about though it doesn't mean you don't love the one you're married to.

Should it happen or not is not the right question as when one is in love....he/she is.....Question then comes does marriage takes away the right to love someone else? When I say love someone else I'm talking about love between a man and a woman which is not necessarily corporeal.

Let's discuss this topic openly.....

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Well said Sandeep. Thanks for sharing your ideas.
Thank you very much all the members who have spoken at length on this subject. As we know, discussion here is not meant to reach to any consensus but to share views, vent feelings and also absorb things that are fine with us. I appreciate that you all made an effort to put your feelings here ........
Love is something divine. It is not just simply an attraction. A child loves his mother...a disciple loves his guru...that is love. Love needs no physical intimacy. A rare attraction touches to the divinity of love like heer-ranjha, sheeri-farhaad. One may attract to someone after his/her marriage but love is beyond this attraction. Attraction is not permanent since it is a physical phenomena. It changes/vanishes with time and distance. And because attraction towards someone after the marriage is considered as love society does not allow this. Though, society could not understand Meera's divine love towards Krishna. We should differentiate between love and attraction.

love is divine ,but it needs a channel to enter up to the soul .the channel may be  related to  some simple ,straight,

physical pheno..

   now i feel we should check out how did meera started loving krishna.if u know please add to my reply.

There are certain myth with all of us when it comes to LOVE. And it is not complex emotion. It is not mystery and it is not conditional or unconditional....but let us understand how it became so complex that every one is searching for it and every one has enough to give yet no one seems to be satisfied with what it receives...

As said in my last post, marriage  was created. In our system, we defined it for life long. For simple reason, that various faces of emotions as you witness time to time, there is one eternal partner with whom you could evolve. It was almost certain that till death do us apart, this partner is there and in addition, we had entire support system in name of joint family and society to ensure various emotions are dealt with and one emotion does not interfere with other. For example, earlier times when you came back from work and you were tired or frustrated, your father, mother ensured that you get grounded with this emotion before you went to bed with your wife... sense of satisfaction and contentment on daily basis was given to you. When you tried being ambitious, each day you were told that you are doing far better than your father and family is growing... hence you had sense of worthiness and that is what you brought to bed with your partner.

 

today, we live in LACK. we compare ourself with other who do better. at home, it is lonely. no one tells you you did a good job and in fact on the contrary, for your partner at home, it is same story. she lives with so many emotions all the time, she has no one to talk to... story does not change rather become worse when both of you are working and seeking support from each other and no one has enough energy to give to other...

so you are bound to feel discontented with whatever relationship you are carrying. It is only normal that your partner will not be able to interface with all aspects of your life and emotions. You are bound to get attracted to some one else who fulfills those emotions... and as soon as you heal those emotions which you like to believe is LOVE....there would be another emotion for which you would need another one.... story is endless and not to say not worth giving a try...go ahead and do it... but unless you turn inward and connect to inner source and understand what this new connection is suppose to heal in you, do not move forward and risk what you have...and yet do not supress... simulate it...live till the end of this emotion in your heart before going ahead... and you will discover the truth...

 

and do not live in a myth that lust and love are different. Your personality needs this differentiation because you need to tell yourself that you are not animal... yes, love is an application which allows lust ( life force energy) to flow through in most friendly and organized manner... healing through at various level of energy....and if you do not believe me... just visualize that the person you are deeply in love with is impotent or GAY..... tell me if LOVE in your heart still blossom and sings atif aslam's songs....

My request to every one: do not fool yourself with lust, love, unconditional love etc...first go inward and discover your real self... then plug into any other source for energy...and by the way, if you love some one outside marriage and it is so pure and true... you have no need to inform your partner... it will have its own energy to make your partner know it plus will give you wisdom to hold it in your heart holistically.... till then it is not a wave flowing in your heart, but a fluid dripping below the belt....

it is true that society has defined love by social structure. We tend to objectify and solidify our emotions ., thoughts and things. It is very secure to have a chair, car or house it will always be as  a object and under you. what about relations we want to change them into solid unchangeable things. My husband is like my car which I possess . He has to follow my dictates and just love me. if by chance some love or attraction erupts it has to be crubbed under the carpet and walk on as if it is never in your life. But now things are changing. Polyamory is  anew concept in which it is possible to love more than one person of opposite sex . This requires to overcome jealousy and guilt. Society structure and believe pattern of ages must crumble down. After all Krishna had multiple partners, Arjun had multiple wifes,King Dashrat had 4 queens, Draupdi had 5 husbands , Gaurang Mahaprabu had 2 wives . Taoist and tantra had tradition of having concubines and  patners for transformation of sexual energy to higher cosciousness

If one is full of love, it will flow equally for every one. Marriage is a concept where both male and female start living together to fulfill their body and material desires and raise a family. The success and failure of a marriage depends on the magnetic attraction between the couple.

 

Taboo is the reaction of the society of what ever happening in our life that is not at par to the foundations laid by the society in due course of time. We can better be our  own judge rather allowing the society to be judgmental for us.

 

If you have love dont limit it, let it flow freely for all.

GR

shame shame shame..naveen can u tell me what is hell....hell is when u r in a love less relationship, hell is when for the sake of society norms u don't live ur life...even the creator allows us to love more than one person and please remember that very few of us in this world have a monogamous gene...

Rajiv,

your post makes me feel, you some how missed out reading my both the posts. confirm me please and i would be happy to reply and take this discussion forward....

 

yes....for marriage kills all love ! and love is the essence of life....love is to human like fish is to water....and if someone does not agree with this, he or she should not b called human being.....man or animal u may call them or may b a piece of stone. moreover marriage is a failed institution !

 

 

 

Its Better to RISE in , than a Fall in  all Situations of Life !!!

 

Love has nothing to do with man-made relationships like marriage, friendship, etc., nor does it have anything to do with the physical. It is beyond. Love is what God feels for all his creations. Just the thought that probably falling in 'love' with someone other than your spouse is not good shows that it isn't love you are talking about here.Love is divine; what you are talking about is physical attraction. True love never has guilt attached.

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